Solitude- Richness of Self

"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." 
- Henry David Thoreau

"Solitude has its very own strange beauty to it." Liv Tyler

solitude - (noun) the situation of being alone, often by choice.  

I consider myself to be an introverted extrovert, or perhaps an extroverted introvert. I think the word is ambivert. Whatever it is, I believe that we all can benefit from embracing solitude.  It is comforting and restorative. In solitude is where I reconnect with my sense of self.  It is where I find strength and consolation. It feeds my creativity. Ideas that were barely formed, start to take shape. I feel like I can exhale again. I can focus on what I want to put out into the universe and what I wish to receive. Moments of solitude allow me to become intimate with nature and the universe in a way that forced stimulation cannot.  I am attuned to the tremendous beauty around me.

I often awake between the hours of 3-4AM. Some mornings, I talk to and nurture my plants.  I am probably getting side eye from those that do not understand how plants are great for mental health in times of solitude. Tending and talking to plants keeps me connected to other living things during those times. I say simple things such as "How are you doing?" or "You're growing so beautifully."  I have started to speak these words into my own life. Plants not only bring an aesthetic of beauty, but also optimism and a sense of well being into my life.  Being detached from the world, in exchange for peaceful and methodical re-potting (my plant clippings are growing so fast) is a treat and a mini retreat for my mind. For example, I have this aloe vera plant. It is struggling. I've contemplated throwing this plant away and starting over. However, it seems that every time I want to give up on this little plant, there's another new little leaf growing, after I've trimmed the dead pieces that are no longer contributing to its growth. It is the same way with few situations in my life that no contribute to my growth. When I am not feeling like myself, my plants reflect that. Caring for my plants is also a reminder to care for myself. With macrame plant hangers on the way, bohemian pots awaiting in my Amazon shopping cart, and my eye on many succulents, my little studio apartment is turning into an urban jungle of peace, refuge, seclusion, and beauty, and I love it. 

I also love how drawn I am to nature and its calming effects on my spirit in times of solitude. My consciousness is renewed every time that I watch the sun rise from my window. It is spectacular! Just watching the grandness of this event breathes new life and light into me. Listening to the birds sing in the AM increases my inner peace. There's no repeating rhythm when they sing. It can be so random, yet it is really melodic. I love the power and the sound of Lake Michigan's waves on the rocks. Water holds such an intrinsic value in moments of solitude. It soothes my anxious mind, and like a baptism, I feel cleansed and revitalized. I read that one of the reasons we feel so comfortable in the water and listening to the sounds of rushing water is because it mimics the fetal state. It is in the womb where we feel nurtured and protected. Don't even get me started on the rising of the moon and its phases! As I said before, moments of solitude allow me to become intimate with the universe in a way that forced stimulation does not allow. It is in my solitariness that spiritual awakening occurs. I am a pluviophile, ceraunophile, selenophile, and just about anything else that has to do with nature.  I am always reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Rumi, "Stop acting so small! You are the universe, in ecstatic motion!" The deeper connection to self and to the natural world is vital for me. 

I have seen the lake when it is stormy and wild, 

when it is quiet and serene, and when it is dark and moody. 

And in all these moods, I see myself.

Solitude also helps me create a life of minimalism. "Create" should be the operative word. I am a work in progress when it comes to this.  I am still figuring out what is enough. I am at the point where I just want to live simply. I took one major step by downsizing from a generously sized 3 bedroom apartment, to a studio apartment that is less than 500 square feet. When I made this decision, it did not feel like I was minimizing at all. I had so much more to gain by removing things that no longer brought me any sense of fulfillment. The "vibe" of the space matters a lot. I realized that solitude is more fulfilling if it is clutter free. It is hard to center myself and to be calm in the midst of a lot of unnecessary shit. Being connected to myself, helps me discover what means the most to me. Owning less requires less time and energy to maintain. I am slowly moving from the incessant desire to always have more material possessions. I'm focused more on the addition of meaningful experiences, and less on the subtraction of "stuff". If I could only apply that to shoes. I did say that I was a work in progress! 

Solitude is essential for me, especially because I am an intense person and an empath. Empaths are like sponges for the emotions of others. We can pick up on smallest changes in expression, body language, one's tone, and many of the social cues that others miss.  Having what I now call a gift, is a double-edged sword. I understand where people are coming from and I am a listening ear. On the other hand, there are times when the burdens of my loved ones or tragic events on TV incapacitate me. It can be exhausting and it is too much. People do not realize and take for granted how much energy it takes to be the listener or the advice giver.  Nevertheless, I still want to be that person for the people I love. So I retreat. I must. I have to deal with my own feelings and emotions, uninterrupted. Once I feel recharged, I could counterbalance the heavy vibrations of others energy and not feel overwhelmed. I can appreciate the gift of being an empath in a renewed state, and can continue to connect to people in a richer way.

A few more small and simple ways that I recharge in my times of solitude are:

❤ Taking a 30-40 minute lemongrass and sea salt bath with a tall  glass of drinking water nearby. 
❤ Bringing fresh cut flowers into my space. 
❤ Sipping on green tea with ginger.
❤ Completing activities in my well-being journal.
❤ Taking naps on the weekend. This ensures solitude.

Practicing solitude is a regular ritual for me. Our culture at times views a person who likes to be alone as eccentric. I just might be. I'm also a creative and sociable being that seeks solitude from time to time. I schedule it, I desire it, and I create it. Solitude was not always peaceful. At times, the journey back to me was not pretty. There were times when I did not want to face some truths about myself.  Whether it is high-vibrational or low-vibrational, it is important for me to feel my own energy and to adjust it accordingly. I can only achieve this in moments of stillness. As Existentialist philosopher Martin Buber proclaims, "Solitude is a place of purification." Gaining a deeper understanding of myself, helps me evolve in every facet of my life. 

I hope that you will discover the joys of solitude as well. 

Peace,

Black Butterfly