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Being a Black woman in the workplace is stifling and stressful. We are constantly straddling the fence between our "authentic self" and our "professional self". We deal with having to code switch, hoping that we are eloquent of speech and grammatically correct. We work solo and do not ask for help because we do not want to be perceived as inept. We dread the natural human act of making a mistake because it can be interpreted as incompetence. We suffer in silence. We change our tone or do not speak up because we do not want to be perceived as the "typical black woman". What the hell does that mean anyway? It is stressful as fuck to try to make everyone else around us comfortable. Navigating race especially when you are black in the workplace, is already difficult. When you add gender to the mix, the dynamic is at an all time high.
We are fighting against at least two types of prejudices against our identity: being Black and being a woman. This positions us in the bottom of the hierarchy in terms of race and gender, and makes us twice as likely to face everyday discrimination and microaggressions in the workplace.
We have to work ten times harder to simply be seen. Although we are skilled and can rival our counterparts (men and white women) with our intellect and work ethic, we still have feelings of inadequacy. We go through imposter syndrome, and having these intersectional identities can heighten imposter syndrome. Trying to be black, but not too black, or trying to be assertive, without being labeled a "bitch", in predominantly white spaces is mentally exhausting. Unfortunately, Black women have always been put into the position of having to understand the issues of other races and gender, without any reciprocity. This also adds to our mental stress, as we Black women do not have any safe spaces in the workplace to air our grievances. As Angela Davis says, "Black women have had to develop a larger vision of our society than perhaps any other group. They have had to understand white men, white women, and black men. And they have had to understand themselves.” When we are understanding to a fault in the workplace, it encourages men and white women to talk over us, to not give credit to us when it is due, and to exclude us.
Now enter the current temperament of the country and its attitudes toward black women. Oh the microaggressions! I have and am still experiencing the pseudo compliments followed by professional digs. I recently completed a big project, in which I did not ask for any assistance. Becky (using this term as it refers to white women who are ignorant of their privileges and prejudices) said to me, “Wow that is awesome! Did you come up with this idea on your own? Did someone help you?” I wanted to call this “Becky” a bitch. I tasted the word on my tongue. However, I caught myself and responded professionally; but, make no mistake about it, my tone was very curt. I had two more hours left in the day, and my head was hot! When I went home that evening, I pulled out my Olivia Pope wine glass and decided to uncork my bottle of Casillero del Diablo Red Blend. I intentionally chose to pull that particular bottle off of my wine rack because of the name’s meaning. It means that one is at the peak of frustration. It means that the “devil walks”. When we feel like we're in hell, this phrase is very fitting.
Now enter the current temperament of the country and its attitudes toward black women. Oh the microaggressions! I have and am still experiencing the pseudo compliments followed by professional digs. I recently completed a big project, in which I did not ask for any assistance. Becky (using this term as it refers to white women who are ignorant of their privileges and prejudices) said to me, “Wow that is awesome! Did you come up with this idea on your own? Did someone help you?” I wanted to call this “Becky” a bitch. I tasted the word on my tongue. However, I caught myself and responded professionally; but, make no mistake about it, my tone was very curt. I had two more hours left in the day, and my head was hot! When I went home that evening, I pulled out my Olivia Pope wine glass and decided to uncork my bottle of Casillero del Diablo Red Blend. I intentionally chose to pull that particular bottle off of my wine rack because of the name’s meaning. It means that one is at the peak of frustration. It means that the “devil walks”. When we feel like we're in hell, this phrase is very fitting.
My intellectual and work capabilities have also been challenged more than a few times. I have held different positions of leadership, but at times I am assumed to be someone’s assistant or I am asked about my “connections”. Apparently getting hired for my intellect, work ethic, and personality are rare for someone with my identities. Obviously I was a good fit the company, or perhaps...it was the diversity initiative. I meet at least two of them.
The researchers of the Women In The Workplace 2018 survey, took a look at 279 companies employing more than 13 million people and talked to 64,000 employees on their workplace experiences. More than 90% of the companies polled said prioritizing gender and racial diversity leads to better business results. Yet only 42% of employees surveyed said they see gender diversity as a company priority and only 22% see racial diversity as a company priority. So where does this leave us black women? It leaves us without professional role models who look like us. It leaves us thinking that perhaps we do not fall under the umbrella of their definition of diversity. It leaves us feeling excluded. And when we are excluded, then we disengage. And when that happens, we do not feel challenged and we do not grow personally or professionally.
So what do we do as Black women when we’re on the frontline? We get prepared for war.
Through all the shots of microaggressions and feelings of inadequacy, we have to equip ourselves with our proverbial bullet proof vest. I started to become unapologetic of who I am. When I am sitting in a meeting of my place of employment, the administrators check the employees temperaments for the day. All of us employees are asked how are we feeling on a scale of 0-5 (5 being great), using only our fingers. Even if I am feeling like a 5, I do not put up any of my fingers and outstretch my arm so everyone could see my fist to the sky. It is my silent protest. I let my fro fly and stopped trying to put my big ass hair in a curly, coiffed bun. My hoop earrings are larger and could double as bracelets. I wear my Sojourner Truth, “AIN’T I A WOMAN” and Nina Simone pins on my lanyard with pride and it feels damn good.
We have to create lanes and safe spaces of our own because we deserve it. We have to speak up and use the power of our voices to challenge company policies and procedures that prohibit us from advancement and excelling at our professional goals. We also have to be willing to walk away if our needs are not met. Our authenticity is integral to our well-being and we should not trade it in for anyone’s approval.
Peace.
Black Butterfly
